The wake up call. The moment of truth. The moment where everything I had been trying to hide, throw under the rug, put off until tomorrow can flying directly towards me for a face to face encounter. It was week one of my Whole Life Practice at the Practice Studio call and it was a very rude awakening.
We started the journey with a scan. A full body scan to tell me my body fat percentage, where I carry my weight, and areas I need to target. The test came back with a sad reality. I was 20 pounds heavier then when I played competitive tennis. I was still under average for body fat, but in North American. I wasn’t my best self. I had a lot of work to do and now it was all on paper. There was no more hiding.
My first session with my personal trainer, Simon, was more about setting goals and coming up with a game plan. After the scan, the number one goal was evident, I had to bring my body fat down. We made the target 5% in three months. Some of our other goals were building up my endurance for my upcoming Ride to Conquer Cancer, and working on getting in more weekly fitness classes. However, our goals kept coming back to a common theme; feeling positive about my body again so I could be more confident in myself.
“I want to get my bikini body back”
“I want my jeans to fit properly”
“I want to be comfortable in a dress again when I go out”
“I want to feel comfortable going out”
“I want to love my body and myself again”
It was saying this last goal out loud that broke me. I started crying in the middle of my session. There was no more hiding how unhappy I had become with myself. It was all out in the open.
Working on camera and as a host, people seem to see one side of me. They see the happy enthusiastic side. They see the confident side. They see the professional side. What people don’t see is how hard it has been to look back at myself on camera lately. Looking it my overweight arms and my thick legs. I had lost my self confidence and in this personal training session it was my first step at taking it back.
Simon made some light of the situation and actually got me to laugh through the tears. Yet his confidence in me and in my ability was relieving. He never said these goals were unreachable or unachievable. He took them all in, he made notes, and he said “we can do this.”
We started the actual workout this week, focusing on high intensity rounds with rest in-between to maximize fat loss. Already today I beat two personal records. It felt good to get the ball rolling.
Already I have made my goals a priority. Three workout classes in one week has already got me feeling a lot better, healthier, and stronger. I didn’t use the, “I am too busy”, or “I will do it tomorrow” line. I got the job done. But this is just the start. The journey is going to be long. There will be twists and turns, and mountains to climb along the way, but I know Simon believes in me, and I know deep down I believe in me too.
To anyone who is having a similar struggle and a similar journey, just know you are strong enough. You can do this. We can do this together.