Mia Gordon
Reporter, Host, Content Creator, Blogger

7 Ways to cope with the overwhelming reality of being a new mom

It has been 5 months since we welcomed our son Max into the world and our lives have changed drastically. While we are over the moon in love with our new family member, it is still such a learning process when you are responsible for the well being of another person. There have been moments where I have felt stressed, overwhelmed, and I am not going to lie, even a bit resentful towards my partner, but the more I talk to other new moms the more I realize that this is completely normal.

I wanted to share some ways I have been able to cope with becoming a new mom that has helped me learn how to enjoy our little bundle of joy.

 

Set Boundaries And Say No

My whole life I have been a yes person, I say yes to everything and find myself overwhelmed and exhausted, so when we welcomed our baby I realized how important it was to set boundaries for yourself and say “no” to things that you can’t deal with right now. Try your best to set some boundaries and politely decline offers that are too much for you at the moment. Or if someone does want to come and see you and the baby, don’t be afraid to ask if they can also help out around the house or with some tasks.  You can’t do everything and be everything to everyone. You have to be realistic about your limitations. Take care of yourself and your baby in your own way. That is your top priority. So do things at your own pace and in your own time.

 

Create Routines For You And Your Baby

At the beginning you are just trying to get through each day and you and your baby are getting to know each other, but as you two get more familiar with one another you can start creating some routines or your family. Routines are perfect for new moms who feel overwhelmed by all the unique responsibilities of having a baby. While it’s important to allow for some flexibility with new routines, you can use them as a guideline to help you get into a more organized and relaxed routine with your baby and your new mommy life. Try and integrate activities that help you mentally, like exercise. And there’s no better exercise than walking. And it’s easy to do as a mom with stroller-friendly walks that get you moving together. 

 

Try Not To Get Too Overwhelmed By All The Advice

There is a lot of advice out there on becoming a new mom. But try to remember that everyone’s different and all babies are different. You have to decide what is right for you as a mom. You’re just a new mom who may be going through some challenges. With that in mind, you should try not to get too overwhelmed by all the advice out there. You just have to do what is right for you as a new mom.

 

Don’t Compare Yourself To Other Moms

This one is extremely hard, especially since where I live in Squamish there are so many young families and it is hard not to compare yourself and how you and your baby are doing.  You may be feeling guilty that you don’t have the same “perfect” life as other moms who are also new moms. Maybe your baby isn’t sleeping through the night, or you are struggling with breastfeeding but that is ok! Do things at your own pace and in your own way. Find what works for you as a new mom and your baby. It’s a journey that all moms go through in their own way.

 

Make Time For Yourself

Becoming a new mom often means that you’ll have less “me” time, if any at all. If you’re feeling this way, take some time for yourself. Find time to take care of your mental health by doing things you enjoy. Time for yourself lets you recharge your batteries and remember that you’re not just a mom. Joining group activities like yoga classes is a great way to take time for yourself and be social. Try signing up for different groups. I love taking an hour to myself even if its mommy and baby workouts where we go together. And don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. I am lucky enough to have my mom in town to let me take some breaks.  

 

Find A Support Network Of Fellow New Moms You Trust

Living in Squamish, I am so lucky to have a wonderful support network. From a great group of other new moms, group activities catered to new parents, and even a medical group called Mountain Maternity that is on hand to help out in the first six weeks, but we are pretty lucky here and so it’s important no matter where you life that you find your own network. Having a support network of fellow new moms that you trust is important for your life as a parent. They can help you feel less alone, stressed and overwhelmed with everything about having a new baby. Try things like joining a mommy and me group or organizing a neighborhood playdate with other new moms in your area.

 

Celebrate The Small Victories

Becoming a new mom is a fantastic journey. But it can also be a bit scary, overwhelming and even frustrating at times. It’s normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed right now. So give yourself a pat on the back. Being a mom is hard. And you’re doing amazingly. Celebrate all the little wins. 

You got this mommas

xo

Mia

Top stroller friendly walks in the Sea to Sky

There is nothing I love more than getting outside and enjoying nature with my dog and new baby, but here is the thing, that new baby happens to be in the 96th percentile. At 4 months, he already weighs 17 pounds and so walks have become a bit more challenging. Thankfully we purchased a Thule Urban Glide stroller, which is great for trails – and so I made it a mission to find some stroller friendly trails along the Sea to Sky that you can enjoy.

Whistler Train Wreck

It’s a short 2.3km in and out walk to a really cool train wreck that happened back 1956. The trail to the train wreck is quite mellow and wide enough for a stroller. You pass by the beautiful Cheakamus river before arriving at the graffiti painted train cars. The trail is also dog friendly. The only downside is the mosquitos can get quite bad, so bring a cover for the baby

 Shannon Falls Lookout

This is a 1km loop trail that is fairly easy and will only take you about 20 minutes to complete. In the winter the snow can make it a little tough to access, but in the summer the mostly gravel path is perfect for a stroller – and the reward of the beautiful view of Shannon Falls is worth the walk. Also a dog friendly trail.

 Mamquam River Trails

One of my favourite walks in Squamish is through the river trails, particularly through the forest that then loops back to the Squamish Golf Course. I just love being in the trees and I recently discovered that this trail is wide enough and easy to navigate with a stroller. Also if you go all the way to the golf course it is quite a nice walk, about 10km total.

 Mamquam Dyke Trail

It is about 4km in length (but you can keep going all the way to the once was Spit). The trail is gravel and easy to navigate with a stroller. You have beautiful mountain and river views for the entire walk.

Stawamus Dyke Trail

Another dyke trail that is perfect for the whole family including a stroller is the Stawamus Trail. It’s a 3km walk alongside the river with gorgeous views of the Stawamus Chief.

Lost Lake Loop

This is a very popular hike in the Whistler area and the main path is a wide gravel path through the forest and opens up to some amazing mountain views.

Loggers Creek Trail

I am spoiled because this one is right outside my house. You can walk with the stroller either on a paved bike and walk lane or through the forest which has been smoothed out by a group of volunteers to make it more accessible for all.

Happy hiking my friends,

xo

Mia

 

 

The truth about birth plans

I remember going into my first prenatal doctors appointment. I was 12 weeks and I asked my GP, ‘when should I start working on my birth plan’. You could tell she was holding back a smirk and responded, not anytime soon.

As my appointments went on the birth plan was always in the back of my mind. We started to get into weekly visits and she still hadn’t told me to start working on my plan and so I decided to be proactive and google how to create a birth plan.

I went through the steps and check marks and filled out the papers. I then sat my husband down and asked if I could discuss it with him so that he could manage it if I was in too much pain. As we went through the list I soon realized that every answer was the same, ‘I would prefer not to have a c-section but if the doctor says it’s the best option then we will do that’. ‘I don’t want an episiotomy but if the doctor says its the best option then I am ok with that.’ Every answer was if the doctor says that is best for baby and me then that is what we will do.

So at the end of the day we left the birth plan at home and just went to the hospital with an open mind. Having said that, I did find there were some positive takeaways from going through the steps of creating a birth plan that I want to share with you.

Ways having a birth plan helped prepare me for labour 

1. It made me do the research 

Before creating a birth plan I had no idea what an episiotomy was. As I went through the checklist I did some research so that I had as much information as possible and knew what could happen during labour. The birth plan gave me the gift of knowledge, which actually gave me confidence going into labour.

2. It taught me some new things

While doing research into a birth plan I learned the acronym B.R.A.I.N. This stands for Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing. While I knew if given a choice I wanted to do whatever the medical professional thought was best for baby and me – It was good to know that I had choices and gave me the information I needed to ask the right questions if I needed to.

3. Creating the plan helped me find ways to stay calm during labour 

While filling out my birth plan they asked questions like do I want music playing or any candles burning – this helped me think of things I could do in the labour room that could help keep me calm during delivery.

4. It helped me ask my doctor the right questions 

Filling out my birth plan online asked some questions I never even thought of or highlighted concerns that I had never heard of and so it gave me the right tools to be able to ask my doctor questions ahead of labour so thatI had all the answers and tools.

Like I have said in some of my other posts everyone’s pregnancy journey and birth are different and so having a birth plan ready to go might be right for you – for me the actual birth plan wasn’t necessary but it did help in other ways prepare me for birth.

But at the end of the day just remember you got this mommas

xo

Mia

 

How to know if you’re doing a good job as a parent

Last night we spent 4 hours in the ER because Max had a spider bite that wasn’t looking great. It turns out it got infected and he had cellulitis. I cried the whole way home saying I was a bad mother for letting this happen to him – full well knowing there was nothing I could of done to prevent it.

Becoming a parent is one of the most significant decisions you will ever make in your life. So far these two months have been the hardest yet most rewarding of my life, and since there is no handbook on it – it can be hard to  know if you are doing a good job or not, trust me most times you are even if it doesn’t feel like it. So I wanted to share some tips I have picked up in the short few months I have been a mom that I believe show you are doing a great job! 

1) You Are Loving And Supportive

One of the most important things a parent can do is provide love and support to their child. If you are always there for them, both emotionally and physically, then you are doing a great job! Children need both emotional and physical support to thrive. If you can provide that for your child, they will be very grateful!

 

2) You Are A Good Role Model

Children learn by watching their parents. If you want your child to grow up to be a good person, it is essential to set a good example for yourself. Be kind, patient, and understanding with your child, and they will likely follow suit. It is also essential to teach them right from wrong; this will help them make good decisions when they are older.

 

3) You Are Looking After Their Health

It is essential to look after your child’s health, both physical and mental. This means ensuring they are eating healthy foods, getting enough exercise, and getting enough sleep. It is also vital that their vaccinations are up to date and that they visit the doctor regularly. If you can do all of these things and take them to clinics, like CBD medical, then you are doing a great job as a parent!

 

4) You Respect Your Child’s Privacy

It is essential to respect your child’s privacy, even if they are still young. This means that you should not invade their space or read their diary without permission. It is also essential to allow them to have some independence and make their own decisions, as long as they are not putting themselves in danger. Respecting your child’s privacy will show them that you trust and care about them.

 

5) You Are Involved In Their Life

Another sign of a great parent is being involved in their child’s life. This means attending school functions, knowing what they are interested in, and being there for them when they need you. It is also essential to provide guidance and support and allow your child to make their own mistakes. If you can do all of these things, then you are doing a good job!

 

6) You Are A Good Listener

A good parent is a good listener. If you are always there for your child and will listen to them without judgment, then you are definitely doing a great job! It is essential to be patient and understanding when your child is talking to you. This will help them feel comfortable coming to you with anything they need to talk about.

These are just a few things that have helped me so far – this and trying to have patience and forgiveness for myself as well as I learn and navigate this new chapter in my life. Parenting can be difficult, but it is also enriching. Be patient, and never give up on your child! They will appreciate everything you do for them.

The two week postpartum period

“Be ready to cry.. a lot… for no reason at all.”

That was the advice I got from a few friends as I was in the final countdown to give birth to Max. And to be honest as I am sitting here and writing this blog I am crying for who knows what reason.

I had done a lot of research on the 4th trimester, one that is hardly talked about but one that poses its own set of challenges (some say it could be the hardest trimester of all). It is considered the 12 week period after birth. During this time your baby is adjusting to being outside the womb while you adjust to life as a new mom. You are dealing with sleepless nights, intense feeding demands until the baby is back to his birth weight, and a rollercoaster of emotions as your hormones balance out again – hence try crying. Oh and on top of that the constant worrying, is my baby too hot or cold? Is that poo a normal colour? The google searches never end and they can take you down a very dark rabbit hole. It is so important to not just take care of your baby, but to take care of you as well because if you aren’t functioning  – how can you be in the mindset to take care of the little one also.

When we first left the hospital Max wasn’t latching. I was so scared we were going to get home and I wasn’t going to be able to feed my child. Thankfully living in Squamish there is a large support system for new moms. The day after we brought Max home a midwife came over to help me with latching, but many new moms don’t have that support and so if you are struggling, there are resources out there like lactation consultants that can help.

On top of the fear of feeding the little man was the fear of well everything else. Even though he seemed to be a good sleeper I couldn’t sleep at all because I wanted to make sure he was breathing. I wasn’t sure if we should add a swaddle while he slept because he might be cold, but I didn’t want him to overheat.  A day after leaving the hospital we were back because he got an eye infection. I spent moments just crying because I was worried I wasn’t doing the right things for him. But overall I would say my two weeks postpartum was pretty positive, mostly because of a little help from Max (figuring out breastfeeding pretty quickly) and the research that I did ahead of time. I wanted to share some of the steps I took that helped me stay relatively sane.

 

1. Set boundaries

A new baby is such an exciting time and of course all of your friends and family are going to want to meet the little one. My  husband and I set some rules before he was even born, no one could hold or get too close to him unless they had the covid vaccine and flu shot. But once he is here we had to set other boundaries. We didn’t jam pack more than one visit per day, and it was limited to an hour so that we could have some time in-between feeds. I also wasn’t shy about letting friends know if we needed help. Asking for someone to take a change diaper turn or bring us some food or take our dog on a walk. I am usually the type of person who doesn’t like to ask for help – but you have a new baby and the small circle of friends that you are going to let see him in those first few days are the ones that want to lend a helping hand anyway

2. Find time for you still

Sleep when the baby sleeps – I am sure you have heard that before right? Well when you have a newborn and they have to feed every 2-3 hours that can be a tough task. Thankfully I have an extremely supportive partner who actually let me sleep while Max slept and he took care of cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. But now that his pat leave is over I am in charge of all poo explosions and temper tantrums. But one thing that the nurses told me before I left the hospital was if I don’t take care of myself (eat, sleep, stay on top of pain relief) then there is no way I will have the energy and mental capacity to take care of him. So as hard as it may sound – try and actually sleep when the baby sleeps – and again lean on friends if you need to. On top of that, keep taking those pain meds. I tried to stop mine early because I was feeling good but alas as soon as I tried to cut down and get moving again the pain started to creep back up and I was just in a constant state of discomfort, which made breastfeeding a challenge.

3. Don’t push it

I am a former professional athlete and during the pregnancy I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and so I had to stay active. Well then you have the baby and all of a sudden I am told I am not allowed to go on more than 5-10 minute walks for the first two weeks. One day I figured I would cheat. I strapped Max on and went for a 30 min walk. Worst decision of my life. I was in pain for hours after that and my husband had to feed him. As hard as it was, I learned that my body truly is healing from one of the most intense experience and I need to respect that  – also I have learned from others that if you don’t let your pelvic floor heal there could be life long consequences.

4. Lean on friends and find a good support system 

When I was in the hospital a lot of the nurses told me about the baby blues and postpartum depression. While I was feeling really good in the first week and a half, a few things happened in the second week that left me feeling anxious. Thankfully I had the support of my husband and midwife to get me through. It is important to be able to recognize these things and feel like you have a support system or someone you trust that can help you get through.

5. Give yourself a pat on the back 

For 10 months you carry and grow this human and then in a day they arrive and all of a sudden you are tasked to take care of him. I joked at the hospital that there should be a test before you are able to go home – the only test we got was that we knew how to use the care seat – the rest we had to figure out on our own and that is scary. Just take a moment each day to appreciate how hard you are working for your baby because even on the days when you feel like a complete failure – you are doing everything in your power to make sure your little one is happy.

You got this momma

xo

Mia